


Can't Fight This Feeling

by SlySilver



Category: Cobra Kai (Web Series)
Genre: 5 year time skip, Christ all I write is dialogue, Coffee shop AU? Kinda?, Eli doesn't fix his life AU, Eli has a lot of mental health issues, M/M, Non Binary Eli, Other, They hurt a lot and I feel absolutely terrible for doing this, eli gets hurt, mentions of abuse, mentions of past sexual abuse, overly descriptive coffee shop functions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-18 13:40:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29244465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlySilver/pseuds/SlySilver
Summary: It's been 5 years since Eli had joined Cobra Kai and ruined their life. A burnout barista, they've gone from bad relationship to worse, thinking they deserved the abuse after what they'd done to Demetri. They assume they'll never have it better, until one day Demetri turns up at the coffee shop.UPDATE: Changed title due to another fic having the same name, wanted to avoid confusion
Relationships: Demetri & Eli "Hawk" Moskowitz, Demetri/Eli "Hawk" Moskowitz
Comments: 13
Kudos: 66





	1. Maybe, maybe, yes?

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah I wrote another one. This is absolutely 3 in like 4 days and I honestly do not care anymore. It was all I could think about at work all damn day so here it is another Binary Boyfriends fic cause I cannot leave them alone. The usual enby Eli and such. I also have no idea how long this will be when I'm done.

The sun hadn’t risen yet, but Eli had. They sighed heavily as they pulled on their black t-shirt and stood in front of the mirror. Wet blue hair stared back, and they flipped it upside down, drying it and styling into its usual mohawk. It had been 5 years since they’d started styling their hair this way. Eli had tried different things, distancing themself from the Hawk identity, but something about it just made them feel more themself. There were a lot of painful memories, but they just couldn’t go back to having their scar be the most defining characteristic on their face. Sure, they’d gotten some piercings to distract more, and eyebrow stud, ears, cartilage, but it never felt like enough. They looked around their empty apartment and grabbed their keys. 

It was still dark when they arrived at the coffee shop they worked at, the other two people they were working with today already waiting outside the door. 

“Morning Marianne, Sky,” they said softly. Marianne unlocked the door and they shuffled into the shop. As they started turning on the espresso machines Sky approached.

“You doing okay Eli?” He asked. 

“I’m surviving.” Sky nodded.

“You look better. It’s nice to see you without a black eye.” 

_“You’re a fucking loser. You’re lucky to even have me, with that fucking scar.”_ Eli shook their head trying to get his voice to stop. 

“Yeah. I… I don’t feel better though.” Sky pulled a register and started counting money while Marianne went to the back to start inventory.

“You will. I can’t believe it took you so long to get away from him. He’s been beating the shit out of you for what, six months?” Eli nodded.

“I guess I feel like I deserved it.” Sky sighed.

“No one deserves it.”

“I do.”

“Why the fuck would you think that?” Sky asked, putting the drawer back into the register. 

“I hurt someone I loved when I was in high school. He didn’t deserve it. So maybe it was just the world getting me back.” Sky leaned against the counter next to him.

“That’s not how it works you know. And it was high school how bad could it have been?”

_“Eli… It’s me…”_

“I broke his arm. On purpose.”

“Holy shit dude. Wait, this was when you were doing that karate shit right?” He asked.

“That karate shit ruined my life. Lost all my friends. Got kicked out of school. It was so fucking stupid.” 

“Well. You still didn’t deserve what he did to you. Doesn’t matter who you hurt.” Eli turned on the lights and unlocked the door. Customers started to trickle in and they went to work. Their thoughts were consumed by Demetri. They wished it was infrequent. But it wasn’t. They often imagined what their life would have been like if they had never broken Demetri’s arm. Maybe they apologized for everything, went back to being friends. Maybe they had the courage to tell Demetri exactly how much he meant to them, how much they loved him. Would they be together? Did they even deserve to be with Demetri after everything? Probably not. But it was a thought that sometimes comforted Eli on their darkest days. When they hurt the most, they still saw Demetri in their mind. 

_“It’s okay Eli. I’ll always be here for you. I promise.”_

Around 10 am it started to slow down. Marianne took in a deep breath and leaned next to Eli.

“I heard you talking to Sky earlier. You didn’t deserve to be hurt. Even if you hurt someone.”

“People keep telling me that.”

“You should believe them. I’m sure the guy you hurt wouldn’t want you hurt if you cared about him that much,” she said. Eli felt tears in their eyes. Even at 21 they still were a crier.

“You’re probably right. He was a good person. Better than I deserved.”

“Sounds like you might still not be over him.”

“I’m not.”

“Well… tell me about him? Maybe you’ll feel better not having it all inside?” She suggested. Eli nodded.

“All right. His name is Demetri. Had these soft brown eyes. Talked way too much. But he cared about me. Was my only friend for a long time. Then I ruined it.”

“How?”

“I learned karate and became an asshole.”

“Teenagers become assholes over all kinds of shit.” Eli shrugged.

“I guess so. But it doesn’t really matter. I’ll never see him again.”

“Maybe. Maybe not. You never know. It’s the weirdest shit. Once I was talking about a customer I hadn’t seen in ages, and almost as soon as I’d finished talking about her, she came in. Hadn’t been in months.”

“I doubt Demetri would just walk through the…” Eli’s eyes widened. They couldn’t be sure, but someone who looked a lot like Demetri was walking up to the door. As soon as they saw the soft brown eyes, they knew.

“That’s him isn’t it?” She asked.

“... Yeah. How?”

“Told you. Crazy shit happens.” Marianne walked away and Eli held their breath. Demetri walked up to the counter looking tired.

“I just need a latte,” he said softly. As he looked up, his eyes met Eli’s.

“Eli?” He asked. They looked down.

“Yeah. Um. I can get someone else to take your order if you want…”

“No! Eli… I… I haven’t seen you in… what 3, 4 years?” Eli nodded. They looked over Demetri. He had grown into some of his more awkward features, making him even more handsome than Eli had remembered. 

“Something like that.” Demetri smiled wide.

“How have you been?” He asked. Eli was taken aback. It was like he’d forgotten what they had done. 

“Um. It’s kind of a long story. I've been better recently though.”

“Well we should catch up. Are you free later today?” He asked. Eli felt their heart skip a beat. 

“I’m off at 1?” 

“Great. You wanna meet me for lunch?” Demetri didn’t let them reply, but just started writing down where they were meeting. 

“See you later!” Eli was left shell shocked. They couldn’t breathe. Sky hurried to them and put a hand on their shoulder.

“Hey. Marianne and I can handle this for a minute, go sit down, catch your breath.” Eli nodded and in a daze headed to the back room. They sat down at the desk trying to hold together, but it wasn’t happening. A strained sob left their body, and they started to shake. What were they going to say to Demetri? How could they apologize for what they’d done years ago? How could they tell him how much they still loved him? It was like all of their feelings from high school rushed back. They always had the ‘what if’ in the back of their mind, but never expected to see Demetri ever again. Memories of him rushed forward. All the times they’d cried on his shoulder, all the times he’d defended them, all the times they’d hurt him. They sobbed. 

“Eli! Eli! Come back to Earth buddy. You’re okay,” Marianne was shaking their shoulder. 

“Sorry.”

“Take all the time you need. Just calm down okay?” Eli nodded, and took a deep breath. They tried to regain their composure, and went back to work. 

* * *

It had been six months since calling off the engagement. Demetri knew it was the right call. He and Yasmine had been dating since high school, but it never made sense. He knew that now. It hurt, they’d been through a lot together, but they’d grown apart. 

As he sat down at his desk, Maggie leaned against the door.

“Hey Mitri. How’d your date go last night?” Demetri sighed.

“He was a disaster Mag. Showed up late, didn’t have his wallet, was rude to the waitress… I’m never going out with someone Alan knows ever again. I should have known better, Alan is a jerk.” Maggie laughed.

“Pretty sure I told you that. Maybe you’re up for someone a little out of your usual comfort zone?” Demetri groaned.

“Now you’re trying to set me up? You know I’m okay with being single.” 

“Listen it’s just as much for them as you. They’re really sweet. Maybe not your type but you’ve been striking out lately,” Maggie replied.

“All right. What do you mean by ‘not my type’?” Demetri asked.

“Well… they’re non-binary, but I don’t think you care about that. I think they’re really cute, blue mohawk, these absolutely beautiful blue eyes, but they have this little scar on their lip that I know they’re super self conscious about.” 

_“It can’t be… no…”_ Demetri swallowed hard.

“What’s their name?"

“Eli Mo… Mos… something?”

“Eli Moskowitz?”

“Yeah that’s it!” She paused, “wait. You know them?” Demetri felt something he hadn’t in a long time. It all came back in an instant. He remembered how Eli had made him feel. How hurt he was when they’d turned on him. When he became Hawk. He remembered hoping that Eli would come back someday, and they could go back to how they were. His heart hurt. It was something he’d locked deep inside himself and sworn never to let out again. But here it was. They were going by Eli again. Did that mean Hawk was gone? For good?”

“Mitri?”

“Sorry. I just… haven’t thought about him… well I guess now them… in a long time. We were best friends in high school.” 

“Oh. So that’s a no on me setting you up?”

“Well…” Demetri took a few minutes to explain what had broken down the relationship between him and Eli, with Maggie gasping and asking questions through.

“So… I don’t know if Eli would want to see me. But if they’re going by Eli again…”

“Well… I’ll say they just got out of a really bad relationship. They’re a good friend of my brother’s. They work at that coffee shop on 5th.” 

Demetri spent the next few days thinking about Eli. The more they were on his mind, the more Demetri’s heart hurt. At one time, he was certain they’d end up together one day. This was long before he’d even come out. He never did work up the courage to tell Eli how he felt. It was one of his biggest regrets when Eli had joined Cobra Kai. Maybe if Demetri had told them how he felt, none of it would have happened. But Demetri had been so scared to lose his best friend, he lost them anyway. He’d made a lot of new friends after that. Hell he even still saw Sam and Miguel all the time. But he’d blocked Eli out of his mind. He had to. It nearly destroyed him when Eli had been kicked out of school. But now here he was, with the opportunity to try again. He decided to try. 

The next morning he went into the coffee shop. But Eli was nowhere to be found. So he ordered a latte and went to work. He tried for three days. Going in at different times, still not seeing Eli. He was beginning to think that he’d heard Maggie wrong or was at the wrong shop, until, on the fourth day, he tried one more time. Expecting nothing he didn’t look up when he ordered, but turned his eyes upward as he went to pay. Looking back at him were beautiful blue eyes. Demetri’s breath was taken away. Eli had the blue mohawk back. They looked exactly how Demetri remembered them, just plus some piercings. 

“Eli?” They looked down. Demetri hurt. He should have expected that. But it confirmed his suspicions. ‘Hawk’ was gone.

“Yeah. Um. I can get someone else to take your order if you want…”

“No! Eli… I… I haven’t seen you in… what 3, 4 years?” Eli nodded. Demetri felt his heart melt. 

“Something like that.” 

“How have you been?” He asked. Immediately he regretted the question. Maggie had told him Eli had just been in a bad relationship. 

“Um. It’s kind of a long story. I've been better recently though.”

“Well we should catch up. Are you free later today?” He asked, nervously. 

“I’m off at 1?” 

“Great. You wanna meet me for lunch?” He didn’t listen for a response, he just wrote down his favorite restaurant’s name and shoved it into Eli’s hand. 

“See you later!” He grabbed his latte and headed into work, beaming. 


	2. We Can Try

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eli meets up with Demetri unsure of what he'll be like after years of not seeing each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I hope y'all weren't looking for slow burn cause... I'm impatient. Also man this is dialogue heavy. But they do have a lot to talk about right? Anyway I'm gonna quit rambling. Hope you enjoy, I appreciate everyone who reads and comments! thank you so much!

One o’ clock came both entirely too quickly and agonizingly slowly. Eli was a wreck by the time they punched out. They tried to calm down as they turned the corner out of the back room to head out the door. Sky stopped them.

“Eli. You’re a mess. Bathroom, let’s go.” Sky pushed them into the bathroom and sat them on the counter. 

“I’m gonna be late Sky,” they whined.

“Do you want to look like this to see him?” Sky said grabbing their tearstained face and forcing them to look at it in the mirror. Eli sighed.

“No.” 

“All right. Then let’s get you cleaned up.” He grabbed a cold, wet paper towel and pressed it to Eli’s eyes. 

“Breathe for me Eli. Deep breath,” he said. Eli breathed in slowly, then released it. 

“Good. Now look in the mirror.” They hopped off the counter and looked into the mirror. Their eyes were still red, but not as puffy. It was an improvement. 

“Thanks Sky.” 

“Now relax. He wanted to see you. So there’s nothing to worry about right?” Sky said. Eli nodded. They knew what Sky was saying made sense, but they were still worried. 

Eli tried to calm themselves the whole drive to the restaurant. By the time they’d gotten there they had gone through what they were going to say to Demetri at least a dozen times. But it was all gone once they parked and saw Demetri sitting outside on a bench, reading a book. 

“Eli! Well of course they’re closed for lunch today. So… maybe we can take a walk through the park across the street?” He asked.

“Yeah, sure,” Eli replied. They walked across together in relative silence, until Demetri spoke up.

“So nice day yeah?”

“Yeah.” 

“I’m lying, it's sweltering,” Demetri said. Eli laughed.

“It’s not that bad.”

“Maybe not. So… What have you been up to lately?” Eli frowned. They didn’t really know how to respond to the question. 

“I guess working mostly. Just got my ex to move out.”

“Sorry to hear that.”

“No, it’s… it’s a good thing. Really,” Eli said, trying to reassure themselves as much as Demetri.

“I suppose I can relate.”

“Really? Been through a breakup recently too?” Eli asked.

“Yeah. You remember Yasmine? Well. We were engaged, but I realized recently that it wasn’t really working anymore. Or ever. Been trying to date. But not having much luck,” Demetri said. Eli realized they’d been holding their breath. They exhaled and tried to assemble a full coherent thought.

“Yeah well, she was always kind of a bitch.” Demetri laughed.

“You haven’t changed at all have you?” 

“I guess not.” 

“It’s kind of refreshing honestly. I… I hadn’t thought about it in a long time, but I missed you. I still see Sam and Miguel of course, but he’s not been into the ‘nerd shit’ as you liked to call it.” Eli smirked slightly.

“I kind of got back into it lately. I was looking at my Magic cards the other day. Thought about playing again.” 

“I think I still have mine at the apartment. You… want to come try to play?” Eli’s eyes lit up.

“Sure!” It didn’t occur to them until they were back in their car following Demetri to his house that they had calmed down. Something that was still true, they felt incredibly at ease when they talked to him. It was like they’d spoken yesterday and just picked back up. 

Demetri sat the box of cards on the coffee table and started to pull out piles. He handed Eli a stack. 

“When did you start working at the coffee shop?” Demetri asked.

“About a year ago. I got my GED and just… didn’t know what to do from there. What do you do anyway?”

“Programing. It was fast to get through in school. Was planning on supporting Yaz with it but guess she’ll have to sort that out herself now,” Demetri replied. 

“Yeah.” 

“So. I think I need to be honest with you Eli,” Demetri started. Eli looked up. They were terrified. What could Demetri be honest about that he hadn’t been already? 

“I knew you worked there. I kinda came looking for you today.”   


“Oh.” They froze. A million things ran through their head. Why had Demetri come looking for them? Who had told him they worked there? Why? 

“Maggie told me about you. She was trying to set me up with you since I’ve been having such bad luck dating,” Demetri explained. 

“Mag. Right.” Maggie was Sky’s sister. Suddenly things made sense. 

“Yeah.” Eli was silent for a while.

“What did she say about me?” Demetri smiled.

“She said you were really sweet. Mentioned the mohawk. And the scar.” Eli’s hand went up to cover their face. It brought Demetri back five years in an instant. They really hadn’t changed. 

“Of course she did.” Demetri leaned forward, fingers gently touching Eli’s. He grabbed the hand covering their face, and brought it down. 

“You know it never bothered me. Honestly, it’s kind of cute.” The air felt heavy. It took Eli a full minute to comprehend what Demetri had just said to them. They suddenly remembered the whole speech they were going to give, that they’d practiced in their head a dozen times. 

“Demetri… I’m sorry. It’s fucking years too late, but I’m so sorry. Every day for years I’ve regretted what I did to you. It took me years to realize I only did it because I loved you and I didn’t want to admit it to myself. I’m an idiot and--” Demetri cut them off, grabbing their shirt collar and pulling them forward, lips crashing together. He pulled back immediately, still holding onto Eli.

“Yes you’re an idiot, but that has never once stopped me from loving you.” Eli started to cry. It was always tears. They hated it so much. Demetri released their shirt and instead wrapped them in his arms.

“Why would you ever love me? I’m broken Demetri,” Eli sobbed. 

“You’re not broken. You’ve never been broken.” 

“You don’t even know what’s happened to me…”    


“And I don’t care. You’re still Eli. And if you should have apologized years ago, I should have told you how much I love you at least a year before that. It’s all my fault.” This only made Eli cry harder. Demetri should have expected it. He decided to try something. He gently squeezed Eli’s shoulder and slowed his own breathing. After a few seconds, Eli’s breathing also slowed, and the sobs stopped. They pulled back slightly, looking to Demetri’s eyes. Demetri smiled back reassuringly.

“Still works.” Eli took a deep breath.

“Demetri…”

“Look. Eli. I’ve spent years trying to be what I thought I wanted to, and I was never happy. The last time I was truly happy was with you. So I don’t care if you think you’re broken or bad for me, you made me happy, and I hope I can make you happy too.” Eli sighed.

“All right. We can try.” 

* * *

As Eli walked up to their apartment door they frowned at the eviction notice. It shouldn’t have been surprising. They’d been struggling to pay rent for several months now. But they decided to deal with it later and slammed the door behind them. It was their first real date with Demetri tonight and nothing was going to screw that up.

Eli went to their closet and grabbed some more comfortable clothes than they’d worn to work. More specifically, they found something that Demetri would be more comfortable around. They tossed their spiked leather jacket to the corner and instead grabbed a blue knit sweater and a pair of jeans with only one hole in the knee. They stripped off their tight black t-shirt and jeans, then turned on the shower. Today was not going to be a hard day, they told themselves. They weren’t going to look down and hate their body, they weren’t going to let anxiety take over.  _ Not today.  _

At least, Eli kept saying it. In reality they just didn’t look down, focused on washing the gel out of their hair and kept reminding themselves there was nothing to be panicking about. It wasn’t the most effective. Their chest still felt tight and breathing was hard. Everything was numb and heavy. Their mind was swimming with possibilities. Was it even real? Had they just imagined reconnecting with Demetri? Sure they hadn’t had full on delusions yet, but they wouldn’t be shocked if it was a new development. Maybe they were dying and this was some weird death-dream. Anything was possible at this point. 

Eli shook their head, forcing themselves back to reality. The water was starting to get cold. They turned it off and got out. As they looked in the mirror, they had grown used to expecting disappointment, but for some reason, today, they felt good. They styled their hair to the right side, remembering that Demetri hadn’t been the biggest fan of the mohawk in the past. It made their scar more noticeable, but they could hear Demetri’s voice in their head. 

_ Honestly, it’s kind of cute.  _

Eli smiled as they pulled on their sweater, and heard a knock on the door. They went to answer it, and took a deep breath. As the door swung open, Demetri was already talking.

“Hey you know there’s an eviction notice on… your…” he trailed off. Eli nervously pushed their hair behind their ear. The look on Demetri’s face wasn’t something they could easily place. They couldn’t recall having ever seen it. His soft brown eyes had that twinkle that they got when he was excited about something, but there was also a look of confusion, his mouth slightly open. 

“Demetri?” 

“Sorry you just... You’re really cute Eli,” Demetri replied. Eli hid their face that was becoming very hot and red. 

“I still need shoes before we can go,” they said, turning back into their apartment. Demetri walked in and shut the door. He looked around the sad space. There wasn’t much to look at. It was one room with a single door that he assumed was the bathroom. The walls were bare. The only furniture was a mattress on the floor with a threadbare blanket and a mini fridge with a microwave sitting on top of it. It made Demetri a little sad. He was living in a nice apartment full of new furniture while Eli lived with basically nothing. And they were getting evicted. 

“Hey Eli…” Eli returned to him, now wearing a pair of incredibly familiar canvas shoes. They were the same ones they’d had in high school. 

“We can get going now,” they said. Demetri nodded and followed them out the door. 

“So where are we going?” Eli asked.

“So stop me if this is lame as hell… But we never got to do the Golf N Stuff date right?” 

“That’s not lame at all Demetri.”

“Glad you think so.”

They ended up in the arcade first. The whole place was mostly occupied by teenagers, but that didn’t stop Eli from pulling Demetri to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game. Demetri put in the quarters and picked Donatello. Eli chose Raphael.

“Of course you’d pick Donatello. Fuckin nerd,” Eli said. It made Demetri smile.

“And you’d pick Raphael, cause you still think you’re cooler than me,” Demetri teased, bumping his shoulder into Eli’s.

“Well I am.” They played for a few minutes, neither of them playing very well, as they kept stealing glances at the other’s face when they weren’t looking. As they lost the game, Demetri turned to face Eli. He gently took their hand.

“So… what would you like to do next?” 

“Food?” Eli asked. 

Demetri sat down at the table with a tray of what he’d recalled being Eli’s favorites; Chili cheese fries without onions, 2 slices of cheese pizza and a brownie sundae with no cherry. 

“The sundae is for you, I’m assuming you still don’t like sharing food?” Demetri asked as he picked up his own slice of pizza.

“I’ve actually gotten better… if you wanna share.” It was a half truth. They still struggled with other people touching their food, but they could share with Demetri. Both of them reached to the fries, fingers touching ever so lightly. 

“Sorry,” Eli said. Demetri laced his fingers with theirs. He leaned forward and caught Eli’s lips in a soft kiss. They couldn’t recall having ever been kissed like this. It wasn’t hungry or rough. Demetri was cautious, almost seeming to be asking if it was okay, gently squeezing their hand. He pulled back, forehead still rested against Eli’s. Long fingers brushed Eli’s hair out of their face, lingering on their eyebrow piercing. Eli had stopped breathing. 

“I was going to wait till the end of the date but I have literally zero impulse control,” Demetri admitted. Eli laughed. It sent a shock through Demetri’s heart, and he felt incredibly warm. Something about Eli’s smile had always made Demetri feel things he couldn’t explain. It wasn’t just their lips that moved, it was their eyes. Their sharp blue eyes that so often revealed everything they were thinking to Demetri. He was pretty sure no one else saw it though. At least not the way he did. 

They finished eating, played a game of miniature golf and decided to ride the ferris wheel before calling it a night. 

Demetri insisted on holding their hand. 

“Eli. You should just move in with me,” Demetri said. 

“Dem I don’t think--”

“Please Eli. I’m going to be worried about you not having a place to sleep. Not to mention where you’re sleeping now isn’t great.”

“You can’t just swoop into my life and try to save me from all the shit I’ve done the last 5 years!” 

“Why not? I don’t care that you broke my arm once. It healed. But you know what hasn’t healed? You. You’re still hurt and I want to help. Please just…. Let me take care of you Eli? Like I did when we were kids…” Eli leaned into Demetri’s chest. They breathed in slowly, trying not to have a meltdown. 

“Okay.”

“Okay as in okay shut the hell up Demetri or okay as in okay I’ll move in with you?” Demetri asked.

“Second one.” Letting out a sigh of relief, Demetri slid his arm around Eli’s shoulders and pulled them in close. He started mentally planning how to rearrange his apartment to accommodate Eli, smiling like an idiot. 

They got off the ferris wheel and Demetri started to drive Eli home.

“Hey… if I’m moving in anyway… can I stay tonight?” Eli asked. Demetri felt his heart leap out of his chest and smack him directly in the face. 

“Of course! We can just get you some spare clothes?” 

Demetri followed Eli into their apartment for the second time today. They opened their closet while Demetri leaned against the closed door. It was almost as empty as the rest of the house. Eli grabbed a few things and shoved them into a backpack. They walked up to Demetri.

“I’m ready to go.” 

It was the last time Eli ever looked at that sad, empty apartment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this ended up getting away from me... I wasn't sure where to end it so I just kept writing? Once again thank you for reading! Hopefully I'll get the next chapter written soon.


	3. Fragile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eli returns to work where Sky is not happy about their living situation. Yasmine shows up at Demetri's to cause trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This somehow got written. I have no idea how as I was dead tired, but after editing a little it actually turned out better than I'd thought. I also apologize if how I've used Yasmine is cringe af but I hate heteronormativity and her character bothers me.

The sun hadn’t risen yet, but Demetri had. He’d taken to waking up early on days he felt particularly uneasy to practice kata before he started his day. Today was particularly nerve-racking because he’d moved Eli into his spare room the night before. He knew it was the right decision. Eli needed help, and Demetri would be damned if he didn’t help them this time. But he knew how it would look to everyone else. On the plus side, Miguel and Sam were on vacation with the LaRusso’s, so he had a week to figure out how exactly he was going to explain everything to them.

As he moved across the room he tried to clear his mind, but it was completely consumed by Eli. He didn’t know exactly what had happened to them, but from what little context he could get, it wasn’t good. It broke his heart how shocked Eli was when he’d offered them the futon in the second bedroom. Eli didn’t care if Demetri was going to take advantage of them. It indicated to Demetri that they’d been treated like that before and had accepted it. 

Demetri stumbled, corrected, and took in a deep breath to refocus. He wondered how bad ‘bad relationship’ had been for Eli. Because he and Yasmine had a ‘bad relationship’. They had nothing in common and mostly shouted at each other. But he didn’t feel he’d come away from that too damaged. Clearly what had happened to Eli hurt them. It had hurt them so much that Hawk was long gone, only to be replaced by an even meeker Eli than Demetri had remembered. They had been soft, maybe even fragile, for a long time, but Hawk seemed to have broken through that. In hindsight, Demetri realized it was all a front. A mask. And Eli was always under it. In pain. And alone. Could he have done anything different? 

He found himself back to the center, finished with the motions but feeling still very lost. Demetri sat down on the floor, legs crossed, and closed his eyes. 

_“You think too much Demetri. Sometimes you have to feel it. You let your head lead the way, and sometimes that’s smart… but you have to trust your heart.”_ He could hear Sensei LaRusso in his head, and tried to clear his thoughts and focus on his feelings. It wasn’t something that came naturally to Demetri. He spent a lot of time in his own head. When he was younger and Eli was his only friend, this worked out well. Eli didn’t speak much anyway. Not that it ever bothered Demetri. He was happy to speak for them. Now he wondered if that had been the wrong call a lot of the time. As much as he thought he knew what Eli was thinking most of the time, when he turned into Hawk… it was like they weren’t even in the same book, let alone on the same page. Demetri shook himself out of it and reminded himself again to _feel_ not _think._

Demetri stood up, and started moving again. He was less precise, less in sequence, but was able to push through to his feelings. Everything felt cold, there was a sinking feeling in his stomach. His heart was beating faster, breathing rough, and his chest tight. 

“Demetri?” He was torn from it in an instant, tripped over his feet and crashed right into the floor. As he came back to reality, he realized that his face was wet. Had he been crying? 

He turned his attention to what had broken him from his thoughts. It was Eli. They were awake and dressed.

“What were you doing?”

“Kata. Sensei LaRusso taught me… it’s supposed to be for meditation.”

“Right. And you’re crying?” Demetri wiped his eyes on his sleeve.

“Yeah… I just… was lost in my thoughts. What are you doing up so early?” He asked.

“I work at six?”

“Oh. So you’re probably headed out then.”

“Yeah. I’ll uh… see you tonight.”

Demetri sighed as Eli went out the door. He went to the kitchen to find himself some breakfast. It had been barely two minutes of him staring at the kitchen cabinets when Eli burst back through the door.

“My fucking car won’t start.” Demetri closed the cabinet.

“I’ll take you.”

“You sure?” Eli asked. 

“Yeah. If you start walking now you’ll be super late. Just let me get shoes.”  
  
Eli hurried into the shop only a couple of minutes late. Sky raised an eyebrow as Demetri drove off.

“So… date went well I take it?” Eli smiled softly and blushed.

“Well… Uh… I kinda moved in with Demetri.” Sky jolted back.

“Dude. Way too fast. I get you knew him in high school but…”

“It’s not like that… I’m losing my apartment. He gave me his spare bedroom.” Sky softened. 

“So you’re not sharing his bed?”

“No. I have my own space. I know it looks bad but… He just wants to help.”

“All right. But if I even THINK that he’s taking advantage of you… so fucking help me…” Marianne rolled her eyes as she smashed the brew button on the coffee machine.

“Please Sky, you struggle to move gallons of milk, you're not hurting anyone.” Eli laughed. 

Morning rush started, and Eli for the second day in a row, felt great. Sky was slinging orders at them, Marianne dishing out pastries, and they were actually enjoying themselves. They grabbed the next order from Sky and set a cup on the machine. Next they poured milk into the pitcher, and brought it to the steam wand. They slowly pulled down, listening closely for the right moment to set it back. As soon as they heard it they smashed the button to pull the shots into the cup. They pulled the pitcher off and poured slowly into the cup starting high above it and stopping close leaving a perfect white dot in the center.  
“Flat white!” Eli yelled over the din of the café as they set the cup on the countertop. They looked at the next order and moved through rush like it was nothing. Every order Sky set down Eli slammed out in less than a minute, and even more shocking to their two coworkers and closest friends, they’d found their voice. Everyone could hear Eli as they called out orders. As they started to slow down, Sky put a hand on their shoulder. 

“I had no idea your voice could even get that loud,” he said. 

“It’s been a long time since it has been.” 

“Eli you did great. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in such a good mood. What happened to you last night?” Marianne asked as she started to clear tables. 

“Demetri happened.” Before she could respond, a panicked expression crossed her face. She leapt into action shoving Eli to the ground and pushing him under the counter.

“Marianne?!”

“STAY UNDER THERE! Don’t fucking move,” she commanded. Eli froze. Marianne and Sky stood next to each other, still in Eli’s line of sight, but they didn’t know what was going on. Until they heard _him_. His voice sent a chill down Eli’s spine.

“Where’s Eli?” He growled out. 

“Eli isn’t here,” Sky replied. It took everything in Eli to hold still. They could feel the tears welling in their eyes. 

“Bullshit. He’s always here on Thursday.”

“Do you see their car? No? Then they’re obviously not here,” Marianne retorted. 

“Whatever. I went by the apartment and he wasn’t there. I’ll find him, and when I do… you’ll regret not telling me where he is.”

“ _They_ broke up with you and booted your ass out of their apartment nearly a month ago. And if you don’t get out of my café now, I’m calling the police.” 

“Have it your way.” Eli heard the door slam shut. They let out a sob and wrapped their arms around their knees. It couldn’t ever be easy for them. They couldn’t just have something good without something painful. Sky dropped to his knees and pulled Eli to their feet.

“Come on Eli, let’s get you outside, you need some air,” he said. Marianne sat them down outside with a glass of water. She lit a cigarette anxiously.

“You really can’t catch a break can you?” 

“No.” Eli was trying to stop crying. It always came back to this. Their past mistakes refused to stay in the past. Of course _he_ had to show up. He was the last in a long line of bad boyfriends. And the worst. At least the rest of them had left Eli alone after they'd been broken up with. But they knew this was coming. Eli had to call in an old friend to get rid of him. They hoped never to have to call her again to get someone out of their life. She had been brutal. It was kind of shocking he was still looking for them after what Tory had done. The panic started all over again. What was Tory going to say about them dating Demetri? She was going to freak out. 

"Eli. Deep breaths hon. Drink some water. You're gonna be fine," Marianne reassured. Eli nodded. They'd worry about telling Tory later.

After calming down, Eli went back inside to help clean up before shift change. They were surprised to see Demetri walk in 5 minutes before their shift was over.

“Demetri?”

“I figured you’d need a ride home… so I went in to work a little early and left early. I didn’t want you to have to walk home.” Eli felt their heart melt. They had forgotten how thoughtful Demetri actually was. But they noticed Sky was hovering. 

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” He asked Demetri.

“Um. I need to go clock out anyway. I’ll be back in a minute?” Demetri nodded and turned his attention to Sky.

“I take it you’re a friend of Eli’s?”

“I’m Sky.”

“Maggie’s brother. She’s the one who told me Eli was here.” Sky nodded.

“That’s good and all but I still don’t trust you. I have seen Eli do this so many times. They find a new guy, it seems good. They’re happy for a month or two, then shit goes tits up, and they’re not happy anymore. Guy takes advantage of them, hits them, makes them feel like garbage. I’m tired of it. I would much rather have Eli living with me than with you, but it’s up to them, not me.”

“I promise you. I’m taking care of them. I would never hit Eli or take advantage of them. If Eli wants to leave, they can leave at any time.” 

“Hey. Do I get a say in this?” Eli asked, reappearing from the back room.

“Sorry Eli. I just… don’t want to see you hurt again. I don’t mean to over step,” Sky apologized.

“I know. But it’s okay. I trust Demetri.” 

* * *

Demetri was in the kitchen making dinner while Eli watched The Phantom Menace in the living room. They felt safe. It wasn’t an expected feeling. But for the first time in a very long time, they were sitting comfortably, resting, and not afraid. Even with their ex on the warpath, Eli knew that he’d never find Demetri’s. 

Unfortunately, believing this didn’t stop them from jumping out of their skin when there was a knock on Demetri’s door. He was in the midst of simmering pasta sauce and turned toward the living room.

“Eli can you get the door?” He asked. Eli swallowed hard, but stood. It was a foolish fear that it could be _him._ Putting on a brave face, they stood and opened the door. They were greeted by long blond hair and a scowl. _Yasmine._

“Deme- what the fuck are you doing here?” She asked. Eli panicked. They hurried past her and ran out the door. Demetri turned off his stovetop, shoved his sauce to the side and sprinted after them, smashing into Yasmine's shoulder. She stumbled backwards. 

“What the fuck? Demetri!”

“Fuck off Yasmine!” He called over his shoulder running as fast as he could. It wasn’t hard for Demetri to keep up. He’d always been a faster runner than Eli. That didn’t stop him for worrying he’d lose sight of them. That fear pushed him forward. He chased Eli down the stairs, and rounded a corner toward the parking lot. Eli stumbled and tripped over the curb, sending him to the grassy side of the ground. Demetri slowed and slid to a stop before dropping to his knees and wrapping his arms around Eli. Tears were streaming down their face. It wasn't getting any easier to see Eli upset. He wished he knew what to do about it. When they were kids, Eli cried a lot. Demetri had never hesitated to let them cry on his shoulder and try to cheer them up. It wasn't difficult. At least not for Demetri. He'd learned how to calm Eli down effectively and tried to not let them get hurt. Now he wondered if he could stop Eli from getting hurt anymore. 

“You don’t have to run away from her Eli,” Demetri said softly, pressing Eli into his chest. He could feel Eli shaking. It scared Demetri. He wanted so much to know what had happened to them to make them this fragile. But he knew asking might be so painful that Eli would run again. He also cursed Yasmine silently for just showing up unannounced. 

He gently squeezed Eli’s shoulder, and felt them immediately relax. They were still crying but they had stopped shaking. Behind him, he could hear footsteps. Demetri braced himself and held Eli a little tighter.

“Demetri! What the fuck is wrong with you?” Yasmine yelled. He took in a deep breath and turned his head to see the angry blond standing over them.

“What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you!? Why are you even here?”

“I came to talk about us but I see I’ve been replaced. Sam said you’d been dating guys but really? This loser?” Demetri saw red. It was like they were all sixteen all over again. Yasmine was calling Eli a loser. Eli was crying. He started to question how he’d managed four years with her. 

“I’m not having this discussion with you. There is no us. I thought I made that very clear, and thank you so much for solidifying how good a decision that truly was. Now if you’d please get out of my life permanently, I’d appreciate it.” 

“Should have known you were gay,” she mumbled as she stalked off. Demetri let out a sigh of relief. 

“Eli. Can you look at me?” They slowly pulled back from the safety of Demetri’s chest and looked up at him. 

“Come on. Dinner was almost done. You should eat.” He helped Eli to their feet and held their hand as they walked back into the apartment. Demetri locked the door and settled Eli onto the couch.

“Are you going to be alright?” He asked kneeling in front of them.

“Yeah. I’m sorry. I just… panicked.”

"I noticed. Well remember. I kicked her out six months ago. You’re here now. Not her. That’s the way I want it to be,” Demetri explained.

“You want me to replace Yasmine?”

“Not replace. You’re not her. I don’t want you to be her. Even if you don’t want to date me, you can still stay. I just want you to be safe.” Eli lunged forward, wrapping their arms around Demetri’s neck. He caught them and managed to keep himself upright. 

“I want to date you Demetri… I just… don’t want to rush… I keep getting hurt and… I… I…”

“Shh. I understand. Put on Attack of the Clones and I’ll get us dinner. That okay?” Eli nodded. Demetri relaxed and went to finish dinner. 

They started watching Revenge of the Sith after dinner, and Demetri could see them starting to get tired.

“You wanna go to bed Eli?”

“I don’t work tomorrow… Wanna spend time with you…” they said sleepily. Eli was drifting off to sleep sitting up.

“Well… you wanna come over here?” Eli nodded and scooted closer to Demetri. They rested their head against his chest. Demetri turned his attention back to the TV, arm draped over Eli’s shoulders. 

_“You were my brother Anakin! I loved you!”_

_“I hate you!”_

Demetri looked down at Eli, who was fast asleep, drifting slowly down his chest into his lap. He looked at the TV, then back to Eli. At one time he had recalled comparing them to Obi Wan and Anakin. It was nice that the redemption happened before he or Eli died.

  
As the movie ended, Demetri carefully maneuvered out from under Eli, and considered if he should leave them there or try to get them to bed. Ultimately, they decided to carry them to bed. He was pretty sure Eli weighed little enough that he could carry them the 10 feet from the couch to their bed. After turning off the TV, he slid one arm under Eli’s knees and another under their back, and lifted them into his arms. He didn’t notice Eli stirring, but he should have. Eli was having a nightmare. 


	4. Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eli comes clean with Tory and goes to the card shop with Demetri.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to formally apologize for posting this on Valentine's Day. But I didn't get it written as fast as I'd planned so. Here we are.

_Running down the dark hallway of their apartment building, heart racing, tears running down their face. Behind them,_ him. _Eli couldn’t breathe. The walls were closing in._ He _was catching up fast, footfalls growing closer. The roles had once been reversed. Once they chased Demetri through the school hallways like this. It had been cruel. Fear incarnate. Footsteps on top of them now. It wasn’t worth trying to run anymore. Eli was slammed against the wall, head smashing into the doorframe. Blood. Then everything was black._

Eli woke up falling from Demetri’s arms. They landed in his lap, Demetri crashing his back into the wall. Luckily, Demetri had been a clumsy child and knew to protect his head when he fell. In another turn of luck, he’d managed to hold Eli close enough to not harm them in the fall either. They were crying anyway. He let out a strained breath, and wrapped his arms around Eli once again. 

“It’s okay Eli. I was just trying to carry you to bed,” Demetri said, still breathing heavily. 

  
“I… I had a bad nightmare.”   
  
“That would explain the thrashing. Well… do you want to sleep in my bed? It seemed to calm you down when we were kids,” Demetri asked. Eli bit the inside of their lip and tried to compose themselves. 

  
“Can we talk?” Eli asked. 

  
“I’m confused. Aren’t we talking now?”   
  
“I mean… I have some kinda serious stuff to say.”   
  
“Sure. But can we do it from not the floor?”   
  
“That sounds like a good idea.” Eli and Demetri untangled and sat on the futon-- now Eli’s bed. 

“What’s up Eli?”  
  
“You took me in broken… I thought you should know what happened.” Demetri nodded softly.

  
“Only if you want to tell me. I’m not gonna make you do something you’re uncomfortable with.”   
  
“I… I haven’t actually told anyone everything… but I want you to know,” Eli paused to take in a deep breath, “after I got kicked out of school… My dad kicked me out too. I lost just about everything. Tory took me in, I got a job working at some sleazy bar, and tried to survive. That’s where I met Sky and Adam. My first ex.”   
  
“Wait. Your dad kicked you out? Why didn’t you come to me and mom?” Demetri asked. Eli sighed.   
  
“Would you have even answered the door? I’d broken your arm a year earlier Demetri. Tory was all I had.”   
  
“Right. Sorry.” He looked down in shame. Eli was right. He absolutely wouldn’t have answered the door. At that point he was terrified of Eli.... of Hawk.   
  
“So anyway. Things with Adam were good. For a while. Until he decided I owed him sex,” their voice cracked. Tears were coming back. They forced them back.   
  
“Eli…” Demetri gently put his hand on their shoulder.   
  
“Let me get through this, it’s hard enough. He… took what he wanted. And I knew it felt wrong but it was new to me and I didn’t know. I tried to stop him once, and got my first black eye that wasn’t from karate. You wanna know how weak I was already? Hadn’t set foot in the dojo in two weeks. That was all it took. I didn’t even defend myself. After Sky saw it, he put two and two together and moved me into his apartment, got me a job with him and helped Tory cover my tracks so he couldn’t find me anymore.”   
  
“I’m so sorry…”   
  
“I’m not done. I said first. There were two more,” Eli said. Demetri’s jaw dropped. He swallowed hard, and gave a nod.

“So. The next guy I met at another bar… and I can’t explain it as easily. He… made me feel worse. Weak. He dumped me because I wasn’t able to have sex anymore. I was afraid.”  
  
“I don’t think anyone sane could fault you for that Eli.”   
  
“Except that’s what they do. They make you think it is your fault,” Eli sobbed, but tried to hold together enough to finish telling Demetri what had happened to them, “the last guy… I… I’m still scared. He made me feel weak. He forced himself on me. He physically hurt me. And I never fought back.” They broke completely down. Eli couldn’t speak anymore. Neither could Demetri. He was utterly devastated. How had this happened to Eli? There was no way any of these guys could have taken them in a fight. But that was the issue. Eli _didn’t_ fight. They got hurt and didn’t even try to defend themselves. 

Demetri leaned forward, but paused.

  
“Eli. Is it okay if I hug you?” He asked softly. Eli had wrapped their arms around their knees and had their head covered by their arms. Though all of that, Demetri just barely saw a soft nod. He wrapped his arms around Eli’s shoulders and rested his forehead against the side of Eli’s face. 

“You know I still love you?”  
  
“Don’t… I’m broken Demetri. I’m just going to hurt you.”   
  
“I think we’re a few years past that, don't you? Eli. I don’t care. You’re still you.”   
  
“What if I never want to have sex again? Would you still love me?”   
  
“Yep. I can take care of myself. I just want you to be happy. Which is why I’m going to ask you to do something difficult,” Demetri said with a sigh. They uncovered their face and looked into Demetri’s eyes.

“Anything.”  
  
“I want you to go to therapy. I’ll pay for it. I don’t care. But… you need help that I’m not qualified to give. I’m happy to listen to you when you’re upset. Don’t think that’s why. I just think you need help that I can’t give you.” Eli wiped the tears from their face. 

“I’ll go. For you.” Demetri let out a heavy sigh.

“It doesn’t work if you go for me. You have to go for you,” he said gently poking a finger at Eli’s chest. Their soft blue eyes were red, tears still staining their beautiful face. Demetri’s long fingers brushed against their cheek, a thumb moving along the side of their nose. The most featherlight touch of Demetri’s thumb passed over their scar. Eli sat up on their knees, wrapped their arms around Demetri’s neck, and closed in toward his face. 

  
“I’ll go for me. I promise,” Eli said. They didn’t let Demetri respond, instead closing the narrowest of gaps between their lips. It was another soft kiss. Eli was growing to like them. 

* * *

_One week later_

Demetri was anxious. He sat in his car, waiting for Eli to return. As promised, they’d started therapy. Demetri had insisted on taking them and making sure they got to work safely afterwards.   
  
They walked out of the building, and Demetri could see that they’d been crying. Eli got into the car and leaned toward him. He gently kissed their forehead, and turned away before he could see Eli’s slightl frown.

“How’d it go?”  
  
“Fine. It’s… hard.”   
  
“I know. It’s going to get better though,” Demetri reassured as he pulled out of the parking lot. 

He pulled up the coffee shop and turned toward Eli again. 

  
“Be back at 4?” He asked. Eli nodded.

  
“Yeah. I’ll see you then.” They got out and slinked inside. Sky and Marianne were clearing down after rush. Eli threw on an apron and went to help clean the espresso machine before lunch started. 

“You seem down Eli,” Marianne said. 

  
“Demetri has been weird the last few days. He’s been distant and won’t hardly touch me,” Eli replied. Sky frowned.   
  
“Since you told him about the last few years?” He asked. Eli nodded. In Eli’s mind, this meant that Demetri was repulsed by what had happened to them. It just proved that they were broken and Demetri didn’t want to touch them. They had rejected sleeping in Demetri’s bed, even though it may have brought them some comfort, because they were scared. Eli wondered if this was the wrong decision.

“I see those gears turning my dude. Let me guess. You’re thinking Demetri is regretting loving you?”   
  
“How many times do I have to tell you it’s not nice to read people like that Sky?” Marianne asked, playfully punching him in the shoulder. 

“Really Eli. Demetri seems to care about you a lot. I doubted him at first, sure, but it kinda seems like he just wants to help you. My bet is, he doesn’t want you to feel taken advantage of like you have, so he’s backing off.”  
  
“Maybe.” 

Eli went to work, pulling the parts off the machine. They started rinsing the shot splitter and threw the grounds bin into the sink. It was easier to focus on work and not to worry about what Demetri actually thought of them. But there was another lump forming in their stomach. They’d asked Tory to come talk today. If there was anyone in the world they were more terrified of disappointing than Demetri, it might be Tory. She had stuck with them through everything. Even when Demetri had lost hope in them, Tory never did. She had even respected when they wanted to not be called Hawk anymore, despite never knowing them as Eli at all. Sometimes they had wondered why they never felt about Tory the way they had Demetri, but she had always felt more like the sister they’d never had than a potential partner. There had been so many times she’d wiped blood off their face and at least twice popped a shoulder back into place. No one had beaten down more assholes for Eli than Tory. When they’d lost the ability to defend themselves, Tory struck back twice as hard. And now they had to tell her that they were living with Demetri. She was going to lose it. Some small part of Eli worried that she would go after him. 

As soon as the lunch rush had died down, there she was. She had changed much more than Eli over the last five years. Her take-no-shit attitude and demeanor remained, but long hair had been cropped and dyed red for at least the last two years, and she was covered in tattoos. Eli stepped off the line and held their breath.

  
“Eli! Sorry I haven’t been here… the restaurant has been crazy,” She said. Eli smiled. They were incredibly proud of Tory. She had managed to move her way up to being a sous-chef at a very high end restaurant. 

“Yeah my week has been kinda crazy too,” they said, sitting down across from her.

“So what’s up? You said you needed to talk to me.” Eli decided they needed to rip the bandaid off and just tell her.

“So… I saw Demetri.” Tory’s face fell. The rage in her eyes was instant.

“What happened?” They swallowed hard. 

“I moved in with him.” She physically cringed inward, pinching her nose. 

  
“Eli…” 

“It’s not… He’s helping me. I promise. I couldn’t pay rent anymore and I just--”  
  
“Why didn’t you call me?”   
  
“Tory…”   
  
“You’re not a burden Eli. I would have happily let you stay with me over that loudmouth jerk. He abandoned you when you needed him most.” Eli felt a pang of guilt in their chest. It was how they’d felt about Demetri for a long time. But it wasn’t really like that. Eli had abandoned him first. 

“Really Tory. It’s okay…”  
  
“I don’t want you to get hurt again. People at work ask way too many questions when I show up with my hands all fucked up.”   
  
“Tory. You’re not gonna have to hurt Demetri. I promise.” Tory sighed.

“It’s hard to trust your judgement.”  
  
“It’s Demetri though Tory… I always…”   
  
“Had a terrible fucking soft spot for him that we tried to beat out of you. Clearly that never worked. Look. I can’t tell you what to do. But please be careful, and you had better fucking call me if he ever lays a hand on you,” Tory said. Eli nodded. They knew it was best to just agree with her rather than argue. 

“Good. I’m glad I found time to come see you, but I really have to get to the restaurant to prep for dinner,” she said.   
  
“Thanks for coming.”   
  
“Don’t mention it.” Tory stood and started out, just in time for a guy to walk in. He brushed past her, touching her hip. Out of reflex, she grabbed his arm and pushed him into the wall. 

  
“Jeeze, lighten up,” he said. 

  
“Oh fuck off.” She glared and stalked off, leaving Eli laughing. 

* * *

Demetri didn’t hug them when he got to the coffee shop. It hurt Eli, but they didn’t say anything. He did pick up on Eli being upset, but couldn’t figure out what had caused it. 

“Hey. You wanna go by the card shop? Maybe pick up some comics?” He asked. 

  
“Sure.”   
  
They walked through the mall, much like they had as kids. Eli froze when they passed by the food court. The spot where Sam and Robby had taken them down when they’d attacked Demetri. _So stupid._ They hated their past self more than anything sometimes. Demetri noticed they’d stopped.

“Eli. It’s okay.” He held his hand out. Eli took it, appreciating the physical contact. It was a nice anchor to remind them that they were different. They hadn’t been Hawk in years. 

Once at the comic shop, they went their separate ways, Eli looking at the new Deadpool comics, while Demetri went to ask about some new Magic cards. It was on this very spot that they’d come for Demetri. Right on this spot, they’d swept his leg. Knocked him down, and started to chase him. Eli couldn’t breathe. They needed to be out of there. At least for a minute. They decided to go to the bathroom to catch their breath.

  
“Hey, Metri, I’m gonna run to the bathroom, be right back,” Eli said, passing him at the counter. Demetri nodded. 

They hurried into the bathroom, taking a long deep breath. As they stared into the mirror, they heard the door swing open. In the reflection was a nightmare. It was _him._ Towering over Eli, a sick smile across his face. All of Eli’s worst fears had been realized. They should have known better. He knew this was the comic shop they liked. This was a mistake. They shouldn’t have left Demetri’s side.   
  
“I knew I’d find you here eventually Eli,” he said. Eli felt their heart sink into their stomach. 

“No… don’t…”  
  
“You could have just played nice. But you had to have _that bitch_ come after me. Well. She’s not here now. And your new boyfriend can’t protect you here.” He’d been watching them. Eli shouldn’t have let their guard down. They should have been looking. He swung at Eli. They just barely ducked, but the space was tight, and they were cornered. The next hit connected with their face. Suddenly their face was bleeding and they heard metal hit the floor. _Eyebrow stud._ Eli tried to put their hands in front of their face. He brought his knee into their stomach. Eli felt the wind knocked out of their chest and collapsed. A kick to the stomach. Then another. Head in their hands, Eli cried. It was all they could do. At one time they were a force of nature. One of the best students at Cobra Kai. Reduced to this. To nothing. The hits kept coming, and they could hear his voice, but the words weren’t connecting. _I’m going to die here._

Then suddenly, the hits stopped. Eli opened their eyes and looked up, through blood and tears. Standing in front of them, planted in a flawless stance, was Demetri. _He_ was recovering from what Eli assumed was Demetri pushing him back. He swung at Demetri, but the master of defense blocked and brought his knee up to Eli’s assailant’s side. Another swing, Demetri moving to his back foot. Then something Eli had never seen. Demetri turned around, ducked another punch, switching to a back kick, sending Eli’s ex flying backwards. He turned fast, dropping to a knee.

  
“Eli!” His hand brushed against their face, wiping blood out of their eyes. But past Demetri they saw he was getting up.

  
“Look out!” Demetri was already moving. He dodged the kick to the back, sweeping a leg and turning the fight away from Eli. And that was the point where Demetri lost it like Eli had never seen before. He had moved completely out of full protection and went into all out offense. Demetri was throwing punches, landing all of them on his face and neck. A loud crunch, nose broken. Blood was on Demetri’s hands as Eli’s ex sunk to the ground. He didn’t get back up. 

Demetri swept Eli into his arms and hurried out of the bathroom. He hurried out to the car and set Eli down in the passenger seat. 

  
“Are you going to be okay?”   
  
“It… hurts…” Eli sobbed. 

“I’m taking you to the hospital.”  
  
“No… please… I’m…” Demetri sighed, but then he had an idea.

“All right Eli, you’re gonna have to trust me. We’re going to get help.”   
  
Demetri’s heart raced as he drove, holding Eli’s hand. There was only one place for him to go when he was in trouble. One place where he could get help no matter what had happened. He just hoped they were home. 


	5. Heal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Demetri brings an injured Eli to Sam and Miguel's house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHRIST THIS TOOK FOREVER maybe it's cause it's nearly 4k words but you know. One more chapter to go, and if I feel like it there *might* be an epilogue. We'll see

Everything was quiet in the LaRusso/Diaz household. Miguel had carnitas roasting, tortillas were made, and Sam sat at the kitchen table studying. She had just gotten their bags unpacked from their recent trip and was trying to catch up on her anatomy homework. Then there was a knock on the door. 

“I’ll get it,” Miguel said, setting aside his freshly made tortillas. They weren’t expecting company, so he had no idea who it could be. The confusion only increased when he opened the door to see Demetri, covered in blood, holding a only-mostly conscious person in his arms. 

“Miguel, I’m so sorry but I didn’t know where else to go…” Demetri said. Miguel looked from Demetri to the person in his arms, then back at Demetri, blinking several times. He didn’t believe what he was seeing. He swore that the person in Demetri’s arms, face bloody and swollen, was Hawk. 

“I-- You--- Hawk?” It took everything in Miguel to even get those words out. He had a million questions. But one had been answered. This was Hawk. 

“Look, it’s a long story, but Eli seems to be terrified of hospitals for some reason and I thought Sam could at least reassure me that they’d be okay…” Demetri explained quickly. Sam had gotten up from the table and was walking over, her face full of anger and confusion all at once. 

“Demetri… What happened?” She asked.

“I promise I’ll explain, can I just get them somewhere and help me clean the blood off?” Miguel nodded and motioned toward a bench in their entryway. He gently set Eli on it, being pulled down next to them as they refused to let go of his neck.

“I’m going to go get my first aid kit, I’ll see what I can do,” Sam said. She had a lot of questions, but she knew that patching up Hawk was priority number one, no matter how much she’d disliked them in the past. 

  
“Did you do this?” Miguel asked.

“No! Of course not! Eli got jumped.”    
  
“And you just happened to see it?” Miguel asked. Demetri sighed heavily.

“I told you, long story, but the short answer is, Eli moved in with me.” Miguel opened his mouth then closed it, repeated it again, and finally just sighed and walked away. Demetri turned his attention back to Eli, who had not spoken since they’d arrived. 

“Hey. Eli. It’s okay. Sam’s gonna help okay? She’s going to make sure you’re okay. She’s studying to be a doctor, I’m sure she’ll be able to help,” Demetri reassured. Eli remained silent. It became instantly apparent to Demetri what was happening. When they were kids Eli would often go completely silent for hours at a time when something stressed them out. 

“Eli? Do you remember when we were kids and you couldn’t talk? Remember how you’d tell me you were okay?” Demetri asked. After a few seconds, Eli grabbed Demetri’s hand and tapped his palm twice. A reassurance that they understood.    
  
Miguel returned with a bowl of water and paper towels. He knelt next to Eli.

“Here. To clean up his face,” Miguel said.

“Their,” Demetri corrected softly, taking the bowl from Miguel. He dipped a ball of paper towel in the water and brought it to Eli’s face. His fingers on his free hand laced between Eli’s gently.

“This is probably going to hurt. Squeeze my hand hard if you need me to stop okay?” Eli gave a soft squeeze to confirm they understood. Taking a deep breath, Demetri carefully wiped the blood off Eli’s eyes. He worked very slowly, realizing that Eli was still bleeding from where their eyebrow stud had been ripped out. But he was able to clean up their face enough that they’d have an easier time seeing when Sam returned. 

She entered the room a red bag over her shoulder. She joined Miguel on the floor in front of Eli. 

“What injuries has he sustained?” Sam asked.

“They were hit in the face a few times for sure, I think this is from their eyebrow piercing being ripped out, and they definitely took some hits to the stomach.” Sam nodded. 

“Okay, I’m going to check their face first, then I’ll look at the abdominal injuries.” Demetri pulled back from Eli, staying close to comfort them as Sam pulled out a flashlight. 

“I’m going to check for a concussion, it’s probably going to hurt a little, but try to keep your eyes open okay?” Eli didn’t respond, but did tap Demetri’s palm again. Demetri nodded to her. She turned on the light and looked at their eyes, giving a small nod as she turned it off.

“Good news, no signs of a concussion. I’m going to touch your nose now, make sure it’s not broken okay?” Demetri appreciated Sam explaining before she did anything to Eli. He had been worried that due to their past she wouldn’t be as careful. It was a foolish thing to think, she was a very caring person, even to people she didn’t like. Eli gave Demetri the go ahead, which he related to Sam. She carefully pinched the bridge of their nose, moving it slightly to both sides.

“Looks okay. Can you take off your shirt so I can check your stomach?” She asked. Eli turned to Demetri. 

“Do you need help?” Eli once again tapped Demetri’s palm twice. He carefully pulled the shirt over their head, careful not to bump their face. When he looked down, he saw exactly what he expected. Bruises were forming. Demetri tried to hold a brave face for Eli, but Sam couldn’t hold it together. Her concern was written across her face. 

“Okay. I’m going to have to touch you to check for internal bleeding, is that okay?” Eli gave the lightest of nods. They squeezed Demetri’s hand hard almost as soon as she touched their stomach.

“It hurts,” Demetri said. Sam nodded.

“I’m sorry, it’s going to hurt, but it’s only for a minute I promise,” she reassured. Tears welled up in Eli’s eyes. Sam worked as quickly as she could, and backed off. 

“No signs of internal bleeding either. They’ll be fine. Painkillers and rest.”   
  
“We’ll put Hawk in the guest bedroom for at least a few hours,” Miguel suggested. 

“Let me get your face covered, we need to stop that bleeding,” she said, pulling out some bandages. Once it was affixed to their face, Sam stood. Demetri swept Eli into his arms, and followed Miguel to the guest room. He gently set Eli on the bed, and knelt before them to take off their shoes. Eli grabbed Demetri’s shoulders as he gently pulled them off. 

  
“It’s okay Eli. I need to talk to Sam and Miguel, can I leave you here to rest?” Demetri asked. Eli shook their head gently. It hurt Demetri. Knowing that they would be okay now, reality was setting in. He’d panicked his way to this point, and now he just felt incredibly guilty. He shouldn’t have let Eli go off alone. 

He softly laid Eli back, and grabbed their phone. Demetri placed it in their hand.

  
“Can I be just on the other side of this door? You can text me if you need me?” He asked. Eli tapped his shoulder twice.

“Okay. I’ll be here. I promise. Just rest okay?” Demetri planted a soft kiss on Eli’s forehead and turned around. He gently closed the door, ready to face Sam and Miguel. 

“I know. I have a lot to answer for.”   
  
“I’m glad to see Hawk. I wish it wasn’t cause they’re hurt, but it is nice to see them,” Miguel said. Sam had a much more dour demeanor.

“You remember what they did to you right?”   
  
“It was a long time ago Sam. They’re not like that anymore… They aren’t Hawk. This is Eli. My best friend.” Demetri felt tears in his eyes. He wasn’t normally a crier. He didn’t even recall crying when Eli had broken his arm. But he was starting to hit his breaking point today. Miguel and Sam exchanged a glance. A silent conversation. Demetri was fairly used to it. 

  
“All right, tell us the long version then,” he said. Demetri nodded. He explained how he’d found Eli, why they were living with him, and with as little detail as possible, how Eli was hurting and needed his help. Finally, he told them about what had happened today, and took in a long breath.

  
“So yeah. It’s been a long week. But… I missed Eli so much. I… I hadn’t thought about it in so long, but there’s been something missing, and it was Eli. As soon as I saw them I knew I couldn’t just let Eli go again.” A tear rolled down his face. Demetri wiped it away quickly, but it wasn’t worthwhile as soon he was crying with no sign of stopping. Sam hugged him. 

“Hey, it’s okay Demetri. I’m sorry I was harsh… I forgot you never really mourned losing Eli…” She said softly, pulling back from the hug. Demetri nodded. 

“I know you only did it because you care Sam.” His phone buzzed. He looked down and saw a message from Eli. Two words.  _ Need you.  _

“I’m gonna go check on Eli.” Demetri hurried back in, to see Eli curled up in pain on the bed. 

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” Demetri asked, grabbing their hand. Their mouth opened but words didn’t come out. Instead they touched Demetri’s face, running fingers through the tear tracks. 

“I’m okay. Eli, are you hurting?” He asked. Sam walked in, holding a glass of water and painkillers.

“Here, they should take these. I’m sure the pain is probably starting to set in now that they’ve calmed down.” Demetri helped Eli sit up and wrapped his arm around their waist. They took the water from Sam and managed to swallow some painkillers. 

“We’ll leave you alone for the night, get some rest okay, Eli?” Miguel said. Now that their face had cleared up, they were able to look at him. They tried to speak again, but the words still wouldn’t come. It pained Eli. All they wanted was to apologize to Sam and Miguel. They knew they had to. But their brain wouldn’t let them speak. Demetri picked up on it.

“Hey. Eli wants to talk to you guys. But it’ll probably have to be tomorrow,” Demetri said looking at Eli’s face. They tapped his hand again. 

“Of course. You guys are welcome for the night. It’ll be good for me to check on them tomorrow morning anyway,” Sam reassured. They left the room, shutting the door behind them. As soon as it closed Eli slid under Demetri’s arm, wrapping their arms around his waist, face buried in his chest. He softly draped his arm over Eli’s shoulders, letting his other hand rest on their knee.. It took him back in time. Back to a time where Eli was upset about their scar and that they’d never have a girlfriend when their face looked like that. It hurt Demetri then that they thought like that. He should have told them how beautiful they were, how much he actually adored that scar, and really everything about Eli. There was a lot he regretted now more than ever. It was weak of him to not ever look at Eli and say how he felt. Maybe if he hadn’t been so weak he’d never have lost them in the first place, they’d never have gotten hurt, and they wouldn’t be here now. Demetri hoped in some other reality, in some other timeline, he and Eli reconciled in high school. Maybe they got together, he didn’t waste five years of his life with Yasmine being miserable, and he had the one thing he wanted in life. Eli. 

“Hey, Eli. I’m sorry. I never apologized to you. I should have done a lot of things differently so we didn’t have to end up here,” he whispered into Eli’s temple. He felt Eli hold onto him tighter. They pulled away from his chest and tried to speak again. Still no words.    
  
“You don’t have to talk. You’ve always been a better listener anyway. So will you listen to what I should have said to you years ago? I have a lot to say.” Eli nodded. 

  
“I don’t know when it happened, but at some point I realized that I didn’t care if I’d never have a girlfriend. I had you. Why would I want some girl to drag me around doing things I hate when I could be with you? But I was afraid. So I didn’t tell you. I dated Yasmine, I let you go, and I was miserable. I missed you, even though I’d made myself forget you. And I’m so, so sorry. You’re all I ever wanted and I was incredibly foolish to let that go over…. Literally nothing. And I--” Eli decided in that moment they had heard enough. Even though it hurt, they kissed Demetri, arms around his neck, basically crawling into his lap. Demetri was not prepared but acted fast to catch Eli’s hips so they didn’t fall off the bed. Eli pulled back, lips still nearly touching Demetri’s. 

“Was I talking too much?” Demetri asked. A soft laugh escaped their lips. It made Demetri smile. 

“Well. I should probably let you sleep. I’m sure Sam and Miguel won’t mind if I crash on their couch.” Eli shook their head and pulled Demetri into bed with them.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable…” Still unable to speak, Eli rested their head against Demetri’s chest, arm over his waist. Demetri gave in and pulled a blanket over them. He turned out the light and wrapped his arms around Eli. 

* * *

When Eli woke, they were still in a lot of pain. But, they smelled bacon, and that was a promising subject. They slowly rolled off of Demetri’s chest where they had fallen asleep the night before and tried to sit up. The pain from their stomach was so intense they nearly vomited. They let out a loud whine, waking Demetri up, who sat up and turned fast to put his hand on their shoulder.

  
“Eli! Are you okay?”   
  
“My stomach hurts…” they said. Demetri let out a soft sigh of relief. One, because Eli was speaking, and two  _ because Eli was speaking.  _

“Let me help you.” Demetri took as much of the burden as he could to get Eli sitting up. He could tell it had still hurt, as there were tears in their eyes. 

“Metri… I… I missed you every single day,” they said softly. Demetri’s eyes widened slightly. 

“I… I’m so sorry…” No matter how many times Demetri saw Eli cry, it still broke his heart into a million pieces. All he wanted was for Eli to just be okay, for one in their life, to be happy. 

“Don’t be. Memories of you got me through some of the worst times. But I also did a lot of wrong… and I need to make it right.” Demetri gave a single nod.

“Well. Judging by the smell of bacon coming from the kitchen, I’d say Miguel and Sam are up. You think you’re ready to talk to them?” Eli nodded. 

They sat around the table awkwardly. Little had been said, but Sam set a plate of pancakes in front of Eli.  _ A peace offering.  _

“So… uh… Sam. Miguel. I’m sorry. I know it’s probably way too late, but… I am. I was a terrible friend to you, to Demetri, and I hurt a lot of your friends Sam…”   
  
“Forgiven. Right Sam?” She took in a deep breath. 

“Right.” Demetri had a feeling this wasn’t over, but he dug into his pancakes nonetheless. 

After a slightly tense breakfast, Miguel took Eli outside to get some fresh air, while Demetri stayed in to talk to Sam.

“You don’t trust them. You might have Miguel fooled but I know you Sam,” Demetri said, setting his plate in the sink. 

“You’re right. I don’t. They broke your arm. I don’t see how you just change back after something like that.” 

“Eli was hurt, tried to get help and asked the wrong person. It could have happened to me, it could have happened to Miguel. They made some mistakes, and I think they’ve paid plenty for them,” Demetri defended. Sam sighed heavily as she scraped her dish. 

  
“Look I know they were your best friend and you missed them for so long but I feel like there’s something wrong here--”   
  
“Yeah there’s a lot wrong! Eli messed up sure, but they’re still a person!” Demetri yelled over her. She glared at him. 

“You’re not listening Demetri! What if he still talks to Tory? What then?”   
  
“You’re still friends with Yasmine. I dated her. For years. And guess what? No one treated Eli worse than her.”   
  
“That’s not the same thing,” Sam replied. Demetri was getting really upset now.

“Is it not? Do you not see that the things she said hurt Eli so much that they felt like they  _ had  _ to become a monster? I can’t believe Eli apologized to  _ you  _ of all people, and you didn’t even return it?” 

“What do I have to apologize for?” Demetri stepped toward her, rage present on his face.

“Really? You never stood up for him. Not once. I believe I recall once hearing Yasmine say they ‘looked like they went down on a lawn mower’? And you just let it go. You watched us get tormented by Kyler and did  _ nothing.  _ You didn’t even care that any of us existed until Miguel beat the shit out of that asshole. And come to think of it, you’ve never apologized to me for it either.” 

“Everyone has a sob story Demetri, it doesn’t mean--”   
  
“You get to become a bully?” Demetri cut her off, “How the fuck would you know? You got to live a charmed life where your parents loved each other, you had money, you were attractive and  _ normal.  _ Eli and I were freaks. Nerds. Losers. Miguel and Tory grew up poor. All of us had issues with our parents. Then you have the nerve to say that  _ they’re bullies?  _ Have you considered that from Tory and Eli’s perspectives  _ you  _ were the bully?” Sam looked down. She leaned against the kitchen counter and crossed her arms over her chest.

“You’re right. For the record Demetri, I am sorry. And I didn’t think I needed to apologize to you. I should have. But I made mistakes in high school. It’s not my fault I--”   
  
“Sam. Don’t make excuses. Eli apologized to you. The least you could do is apologize for looking the other way. It’s not your fault it happened, but it doesn’t change the fact that you never even gave them a chance. You know they were the first person to see Miguel in the hospital? They were right there with you when he hit the ground. Do you not remember how many people it took to get them away from Miguel? Eli is a good person. They just trusted the wrong people. I thought you might relate.” The last statement was incredibly pointed. Sam sighed.

“You’re trying to say we’re more the same than we are different.”    
  
“Yep. Why do you think we usually get along so well Sam? In some ways you’re just like Eli.”   
  
“All right. I’ll apologize. You’re right, as usual Demetri.”   
  
Outside, Miguel helped Eli into a lawn chair. He sat down in one across from him.

“Circumstances suck, but it’s really good to see you man,” Miguel said. Eli smiled softly.

“Yeah. I’m sorry.”   
  
“You apologized once, Hawk. No need for more.” Eli winced at the name. They hated hearing it. 

“I… I would prefer not to be called Hawk.”   
  
“Oh shit. Sorry Eli. I guess a lot has changed in the last few years yeah?” Miguel asked. Eli nodded.

“Yeah.”   
  
“Look man… I don’t want Demetri to have to carry you bloody into my house again, so can we get you back in fighting shape? For Demetri’s sake at least?” Eli bit their lip. They hadn’t fought back in years. After hurting Demetri… they couldn’t.

  
“I can’t Miguel… Not after what I did to Demetri.”    
  
“I understand… but what if Sam and Demetri can teach you Miyagi-do? Defense only. No striking first, just… fighting back.” Eli hadn’t considered defense only. 

“I’ll try. I just… don’t want to hurt anyone.”    
  
“Don’t forget that some people deserve getting hurt,” Miguel replied. Behind them they could hear Demetri yelling. Eli started to get up, but Miguel stopped them.

“You don’t want to get in the middle of that. Trust me. When Sam and Demetri fight… you just clear the blast zone and wait for it to be over.”   
  
  
“That bad huh?”   
  
“You think Demetri gets snarky, you should see what happens when Sam’s upset. Those two are usually passive-aggressive. When they get aggressive aggressive… it’s just not worth it. And good news, they’re both defensive fighters so if they start to fight it’s just a lot of blocking. So just let them sort it out.” 

The two sat in comfortable silence until Sam and Demetri walked outside. Sam looked a little defeated.

“Eli. I owe you an apology. I’ve assumed a lot about you and treated you… less than fairly. I also didn’t ever see that people I trusted mistreated you and… I’m sorry,” Sam said. As expected, tears welled up in Eli’s eyes. Demetri gently squeezed their shoulder, helping calm them. 

“Thank you Sam.”   
  
“Well good. Now that we’ve cleared the air, Eli has agreed to learn Miyagi-do so they can defend themselves,” Miguel said. 

“Really?” Demetri asked excitedly.

  
“Yeah. I’ll try.” He gave Eli as soft a hug as he could manage. It was nice to see Eli smiling again. He hoped this would be the corner turned finally for them, they would stop crying and finally start to heal. 


	6. Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eli is fast recovering while Demetri realizes just how much he needed them too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I FINALLY FINISHED IT WOOOOO Yeah I'm bad at endings but I'm stopping this one here. I will write more of this pair (I can't leave them alone honestly) but I'm about to move so bear with me. Thanks once again to everyone who read, liked, commented, I appreciate it so much even though I don't reply!

The peace of the Miyagi-do dojo had always brought Demetri some comfort. It had been a place where he was safe. It was here where Sensei LaRusso had talked to him about Eli. More than once in fact. Now, Eli was there with him, learning how to block like him, how to turn someone’s attacks against them.    
  
He was trying to be gentle with Eli. It had only been two weeks since they had been attacked. But as Demetri expected, they recovered quickly. They also learned quickly. Eli had taken to defensive fighting like a duck to water. Sam and Demetri had taught them how to block correctly, not something that had apparently been emphasized by Cobra Kai, and since then, neither had been able to hit them without being deflected. At one time it scared Demetri how much natural talent Eli had for karate, especially compared to himself, but it was oddly refreshing now to have them opposite him, blocking punches and knocking him to the ground. 

Today Eli was really feeling it. They’d arrived early in the afternoon to spend some time just the two of them before Sam and Miguel got there. After getting warmed up, they squared up against each other. 

Eli had managed to overcome their fear of fighting and in a short time, started to remember how to move, how to strike. They realized very quickly that they actually couldn’t hurt Demetri the way they had before. He was stronger than they were now. That didn’t stop them from trying to win a fight. 

The two moved almost in sync, fighting each other almost like fighting a mirror. Eli threw a punch, Demetri matched with a block. Demetri went for a kick, Eli caught him and brought him to the ground. He got back to his feet, shoulder to Eli’s chest. As Eli fell backwards they grabbed Demetri’s shirt collar, bringing him down with them. Demetri landed softly on Eli’s chest. He started to get up, but Eli quickly wrapped their arms around him. Demetri laughed softly and accepted his fate.

“So this is your trick to winning fights now huh?” Demetri asked.

“No. This is,” Eli replied. Before Demetri could ask what ‘this’ was, Eli closed the gap between them, tongue diving into his mouth. He melted against Eli, resting his arms on either side of their head. Warmth surged through him, down his chest, into his stomach. His hips gently pushed against Eli’s, cock twitching slightly at the friction. Then the need to breathe returned. When he pulled back, there was a slightly uncomfortable look on Eli’s face. Demetri frowned, he couldn’t figure out what was wrong. Then it hit him. He quickly scrambled off of Eli and sat down beside them. 

“Sorry.” Eli had sat up and was looking down, face red.

“Don’t be. I mean it’s normal right? I’m the one who’s not normal…” Demetri felt terrible. It was the one thing that Eli hadn’t made much progress on. They were still incredibly uncomfortable with anything remotely related to sex. Unfortunately for Demetri, this meant that his attraction to Eli was a problem. It was frustrating. Demetri knew it wasn’t his fault, but it still hurt Eli. 

“It’s fine Eli. I told you it doesn’t bother me. But I am attracted to you, so sometimes it does happen.” 

“I want to feel the same though…” Eli trailed off.

  
“We can work on it if you want,” Demetri suggested. 

“I just want to be normal,” they let out a strained sob. Demetri pulled them into his chest and hugged them close. 

“You’ve been through a lot that no person should have to live with and haven’t had much time to heal from it yet. Give it time.” Eli tried to calm down, knowing what Demetri was telling them was absolutely true. But it didn’t stop the pain. They hadn’t really had any sexual experience they’d consider great, or really very good, and knew that Demetri would try to make it better. 

After a few minutes Eli had stopped crying and was able to breathe normally again. Demetri ran a hand through soft blue-toned hair and gently kissed their forehead.

“Come on, Miguel and Sam should be here soon. Wanna get some more practice in?”    
  
The two returned to sparring, Eli getting faster and more comfortable as time passed. Demetri was a little surprised, even though he shouldn’t have been, at how quickly Eli had gotten back to where they were. It was like they still trained every day they were apart. 

When Sam and Miguel arrived, Eli split off to go practice with Miguel while Sam and Demetri went into the dojo to meditate. 

“All right Eli, let’s see what you’ve got,” Miguel said, squaring up. Eli matched him, and stepped forward first. Miguel wasn’t nearly as fast as Demetri. But his moves were much more powerful. He moved deliberately, taking hits when he had to from Eli, but turning them back onto them just as hard. At first he’d been much softer, but very quickly Miguel had realized that Eli was back at full fighting strength and holding back was going to get  _ him  _ hurt. Eli fought differently against Miguel than Demetri. With Demetri they matched strikes, both being incredibly fast fighters. Miguel used this to get Eli to stumble more, to move the wrong direction. He sidestepped as Eli’s fist came toward him, ducking just in time to miss the high kick. Then something happened he had not expected. Eli was in the air, coming down on him with a knee to the shoulder. Miguel went flying backwards, landing on the soft grass with a grunt. 

“Miguel!” He shot up fast and held his hands up.

“I’m okay! Damn Eli I forgot how high you could jump,” Miguel said. Eli let out a sigh of relief. It had been one of the most impressive things Eli could do. They were well known for vaulting into the air to strike from above. It was the way they best countered the height they lacked compared to a lot of other fighters. 

“I thought I’d hurt you,” Eli said.

“Nah. Just surprised me. Glad you still can do the aerial thing.” Eli smiled. 

“Wanna go again?”    
  
“Hell yeah!”   
  
BREAK

Demetri couldn’t relax. No matter how much he tried to even out his breathing and clear his mind, everything still rolled around making way too much noise in his head. It didn’t slip past Sam.

“Demetri, you have this little black raincloud over your head. Is everything okay with Eli?” She asked.

“Yeah. They’ve been doing a lot better. Still a lot of crying, but, Eli was always a crier.”    
  
“Well you look a lot happier with them than you ever did with Yasmine. I’ll give them that. And… you were right. Eli is really sweet,” Sam admitted. A soft smile spread across Demetri’s face.

“I always told you. Somewhere under the hair and bravado is this soft, kind person that’s just in pain.”   
  
“If this isn’t wrong of me to ask… why were they in so much pain? I know that school was tough, but Eli had you…”   
  
“Eli…. had a lot of problems. The first was of course school. I’ve never understood why people fixate on the scar so much… I think it’s cute. But their dad wasn’t a very understanding man. He wanted a son that was tough. I heard him tell Eli to ‘be a man’ so many times. I’m sure it hurt them a lot. His dad was disappointed in Eli being a soft nerd. I don’t know how he reacted when Eli became Hawk… But I’m assuming it was a real ‘be careful what you wish for’ moment. They spent a lot of time at my house. My mom loved Eli. I think it was the only time they felt like an adult understood them.”    
  
“I suppose I can see how they would turn into… that. It’s cool getting to know them now though. I had no idea Eli was so smart.”   
  
“Genius actually. Just doesn’t communicate well. I learned how to be good at coding, worked past my ADHD, and I’m okay at it. Enough that I can make a living. Eli though… they just got it. That and karate are the two things that I’ve never seen them struggle with. They just can do it. You show them how once and they’ll do it better than you the next time. And they work in a coffee shop. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I just know they could be doing something more amazing.” Sam laughed.

“You really love them don’t you?”    
  
“Always have.” 

Miguel and Eli stepped inside laughing. 

“You should be proud Demetri, Eli took me down,” Miguel said. Demetri smiled.

“Of course they did. They were always the better fighter really,” he replied.

“Ouch! That one hurt Demetri!” The four sat and talked for a little while longer, before Demetri decided it was time to call it a day. He knew Eli had been up since five am and probably needed rest. 

At home, Demetri made dinner while Eli read on the couch. He smiled looking over his beloved, engrossed in a story, like they had been so many times when they were young. It had been such a short time since he’d had Eli back in his life, but it was beginning to feel like they’d never left. All of their inside jokes were still there. Their interests hadn’t changed so much as expanded. Most of all there was something absolutely magic to Demetri seeing Eli wearing a knit sweater with their hair dyed and styled. It was like the best of both worlds had finally arrived. Eli was soft and sweet, but also strong and gaining confidence. It filled Demetri with a lot of complicated emotions. 

He sat down with Eli for dinner, enjoying the comfortable silence as they ate. It was something he hadn’t realized he’d missed. The ability to just not talk and it be okay. It had always been that way with Eli. There had been a lot of times in their life that they just didn’t talk much. It never bothered Demetri, he was happy to sit in silence with them or to just talk with no response. It was oddly the most peace Demetri had felt in years. 

Demetri cleared the dishes and started to put up leftovers. In the living room Eli was looking over his shelf of games. 

“Hey, you mind if I play that new Zelda game?” Eli asked. 

“Not at all. I don’t even think I’ve opened it to be entirely honest with you.”   
  
“Oh. I don’t want to play it before you then, it’s your game.”   
  
“Start it up. I’ll watch you play.” 

Demetri sat down on the couch while Eli put the game in. When Eli turned around, they looked anxious. 

  
“Eli? You okay?” Demetri asked. Eli nodded.

“Can I… nevermind.” 

“Can you what?” They nervously bit their lip. Demetri’s brow furrowed, but he decided to use his Eli-mind-reading-powers. He looked to Eli’s face, then his eyes that were nervously darting from him to the spot on the couch beside him. The pieces were coming together.

“Eli… do you want to sit in my lap and play?” Demetri asked. It was his best guess. And judging by how red Eli’s face was, it was a correct guess. They didn’t respond, but quietly crawled into his lap. He had forgotten how much smaller Eli was than him. They were still quite a bit shorter than him, and much thinner. Demetri had continued training over the years, gaining and retaining fairly dense muscle, while Eli was more skin and bones. He wrapped his arms around Eli’s waist as they settled between his legs. Glimpses of the opening cutscene were all Demetri saw, becoming immediately distracted by Eli. He gently kissed the side of their face, planting a very soft one on their scar, then another on what was probably going to be a new scar where their eyebrow stud had been ripped out. If Eli minded they didn’t say so. They played for a while, enjoying the soft affection Demetri was covering them in. 

“Dem… can I sleep in your bed tonight?”    
  
“Yeah, you sure you want to?” Demetri asked. Eli nodded. They got up and pulled Demetri toward the bed, ripping off their shirt. He let go of Eli’s hand and undressed as well. Eli grabbed him, pulling him into bed with much more force than Demetri had realized they were capable of. 

“Careful! Eli!” They wrapped their arms around his neck and cuddled against his chest. Demetri smiled softly, hands trailing across bare skin. Both of them were left only in their underwear, and Demetri was being very cautious. He didn’t want to overwhelm Eli, but at the same time it was them who’d pulled him into bed. 

“I… I may have gotten ahead of myself…” Eli said, pulling away slightly. Demetri loosened his grip on Eli’s shoulders.

“Would you be more comfortable if we were more dressed?” Eli shook their head.

“I like feeling your skin on mine… but I don’t want to--”   
  
“I understand. Whatever makes you comfortable.” Eli rested their head against his chest. Demetri pulled the blankets over them. There was nowhere in the world Demetri wanted to be more. Things weren’t going to be perfect, he knew that, and Eli had a long way to go still, but even with all of it, he was the happiest he’d been in years. For now, with Eli in his arms, he was okay. Maybe he needed Eli more than Eli needed him after all. 


End file.
